by Eva Kortekaas, Netherlands UU Fellowship
In May I traveled once more to the UK, for my fourth Residential. It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year since my first one… on the one hand it doesn’t feel that long ago, but on the other hand it feels a lifetime has passed. After a Sunday afternoon and evening in London (including a lovely dinner with Rev. Claire MacDonald, whom some of you might remember from the blessings workshop in Cologne in November 2024), I met up with my fellow student Gavin from Dublin on Monday morning. Together we took the bus to Oxford, where another fellow student would pick us up for the final leg of our journey.
I have to be honest: Charney Manor, in the tiny village of Charney Basset, might be one of the most beautiful places I’ve visited during my church travels. The part of the manor where our ‘classroom’ was, was built in the 13th century, and the surrounding grounds were lovely. Thanks to the beautiful weather, we spent most of our breaks, evenings and duo work outside. That is pretty rare in the UK… even more rare than in the Netherlands, I’d say.
The main focus of this Residential was pastoral care. I have covered this subject during my Dutch training, but what I mostly remember most are the theories and conversation techniques, and that was a little bit more aimed at chaplaincy work in a hospital or nursing home. During this week we also covered bits and pieces of that, but for me ultimately it became more about exploring the heart and soul of pastoral care within a community. We delved into many different topics like holy listening, forgiveness, letting go, death, as well as what is unique about Unitarian pastoral care. Particular attention was also paid to things like safeguarding, boundary setting, how to keep yourself safe and the question of how much of ourselves we share.
Pastoral care wasn’t the only topic covered during the Residential, however. We also explored contemplative practices in a few of the sessions, touching upon different levels and applications. We spoke about leading a meditation group, how contemplative practices might have a place in our own spiritual practice and how to use them during worship. It was not just theory or discussion, but we also tried out several things, seeing what clicked for us. For example, I did a form of sacred reading, lectio divina, with short phrases on cards, but also experimented with some forms of meditation and prayer. These sessions offered a counterbalance to the intensive pastoral care sessions and I’m looking forward to experimenting with some of the practices within my own ministry.
One thing that always surprises me when I look back at a Residential is just how much I learn informally. Some of the most meaningful moments come not during a class session, but over dinner or when we are gathered in the evening with a glass of something nice, simply chatting. Sometimes it’s just the students, at other times one or more of our tutors join in. This is the time when many stories are shared. Sometimes you realize you’ve faced similar situations but responded in very different ways. One particular moment that stood out was a conversation about leading the Sharing of Joys and Concerns. We explored different variations and the creative possibilities, but also the challenges that can sometimes arise, along with how to deal with those.
Looking back, it took me a while to begin to realize what this Residential had brought me. But now, as I work on my assignment, reflect on the week, revisit my earlier training and self-study, and draw on my experiences with pastoral care, I’m beginning to see how the pieces are starting to come together. Of course I have used my knowledge and skills before, but it never quite seemed to form a coherent whole for me. I had fragments that felt important, but I wasn’t sure where they fit or how to adapt them to my own context. But now, a more personal and complete vision of pastoral care is starting to take shape. And so far, it’s turning out to be far broader and richer than I ever imagined. I look forward to continuing to explore and grow into it.