Impressions from a First-Timer, now a New Member

by Claire MacDonald

Perhaps it was Brexit that did it — the feeling that we in the UK are more and more anchored offshore in our lone island – or possibly it was meeting Karen Kyker last midsummer and hearing from Paris Unitarians about EUU. Whatever it was that sparked my interest and persuaded me to sign up for the retreat, I am very happy that I did. In the middle of my busy life in Oxford (where I am the Unitarian chaplain at the Unitarian founded Harris Manchester College) a Friday-Sunday break in Cologne – with easy rail links from London – felt doable and attractive. And I was interested in the theme. How we combine independence of thought with the need to foster mutuality is part of my own practice as a minister and as someone who has worked for many years in the arts and education.

So I came early from Paddington on Eurostar and onwards from Brussels by train and tram to the hostel by the Rhine. I met Janet and Laura in the parking lot – and then spent the rest of the afternoon with them and a small group of other early arrivers, traveling to the biogarten, where Janet volunteers with a small and dynamic community tending an organic garden – and tending what it means to make community as they work on a beautiful and very old site, where we picked up flowers they had gathered for us to bring for the altar being made for Sunday’s worship. We arrived back at the hostel with our huge bouquet and began the retreat proper – an evening beautifully hosted with shared joys and concerns and a fantastic ice breaker led by Steph – and then frivolity. So much music, so much singing, so many people to talk to. Our stories were various. The openness to exchanging ideas around cake and at meal tables and in workshops and the active listening that I found present all weekend in everything that took place, was welcoming to a newbie like me, so that though lots of people were returners, it never felt exclusive.

What struck me very much was the strong feeling that organizing EUU is part of the spiritual social journey – and fun. That the doing together what we cannot do apart, making things happen, running them well (wearing the hat) was integral, almost as if this too was a tool for conviviality. There was no hectoring, just inviting. And the choice of theme, and Rica’s strong, clear (and joyful) presence, in her wonderful theme talk on Saturday and in the Sunday service, was a connecting thread throughout the retreat. As I look back, there is so much to say about what really was a short time – the workshops (I was lucky enough to lead one and then to take yoga afterwards), the choir (Jill – so tolerant, so encouraging) and plenty of downtime to share, meet people and imagine becoming part of this community.

And that was interesting. Talking with people I learned about the many reasons people come to and stay with EUU retreats; the deep sense of witness to lives lived, and at times lives changed and lost, that is important, especially to the experience of living far away from extended families and of being part of different cultures and contexts during one’s life. In so many ways, Rica’s theme talk met us all there – in a room where I felt present to the active listening of people whose journeys across spaces and places connected to the need to recognise our interdependence as a key part of human and planetary survival. I learned too about this particular way of doing spiritual work – of meeting deeply twice a year and staying threaded through time virtually and in fellowships.

Reader, I joined. I will see some of you at the next retreat I attend, and I look forward to the songs, the stories, the open stage, the workshops, the sharing, and the frivolity.

Workshop: Creative Doodle Art

Led by Stephanie Couitt (of UUFP)

Stephanie brought the pens and paper, turned on the music, and seven of us around the table plunged into peaceful, amusing and personal depths of creativity. What a great way to relax and interact quietly at the end of a busy retreat Saturday. We began with group doodling – a visual game of “telephone” that began with abstract pencil scribbles, added details using colored felt-pens, resulting in wacky images all around! Then we each made a non-literal, colorful and expressive “self-portrait.” We ended by learning about and then doing a particular form of doodle art called Zentangle, using black permanent markers on cream-colored squares. The resulting patchwork “quilt” assembled from all of our individual zentangles contributed to the decor at our Sunday service.

Karen Kyker

Blessings Workshop

Led by Claire MacDonald

Reverend Claire MacDonald led a workshop on Blessings and there were twelve participants. She began by reminding us that blessings are not always sweet, but can be a curse and that the reverse is also true. Words matter.

Blessings have power and anyone can make a blessing to anyone or anything else; we needn’t be a rabbi, priest or minister to do this. Indeed blessings provide a container for the spiritual powers we all have within ourselves.

Reverend MacDonald then invited each of us first to bless something in the room; and we did, for example, the white wall which is calming and helps us to turn inside ourselves or the window which gives us a view of beautiful autumn leaves.

The next exercise was more difficult: think of something or someone we would rather curse and find a reason to bless this thing or person. We blessed serious illnesses for making us appreciate life and knowing our priorities; we even blessed terrorists for their humanity and desperation; their acts show us a possibility for change.

We had a question about forgiveness, and Claire said that blessing does not mean forgiving, it is a tool, a shift in perspective, a symbolic power in the world, an act of active hope.

Finally we blessed each other with the following words, one by one going around the circle, creating a moving spiritual space:

“Bless the life you live.

Bless the choices you have made.

May you know that you are loved.

May your heart be at peace.”

Thank you Reverend Claire MacDonald for this beautiful workshop.

Laura Stahnke

Workshop: A Different Type of Harvest Celebration

Led by Kim Mitchell

On Retreat Saturday, Kim Mitchell led an intimate session, a sharing circle she dubbed “A Different Type of Harvest Celebration,” which invited retreat participants to reflect upon aging. It’s inevitable that we get older, but it can be a celebration! And, like any celebration, this one was improved upon by the mix of individuals. As we responded to prompts, participants in the circle shared laughter, tears, and some well-placed profanity.

The group focused on sharing experiences and lessons learned from their decades of life and hopes for the future. Participants hope that a Crone’s Sharing Space will continue at subsequent UU Retreats. That would be the best!

Casey Burkhardt

Workshop: Genocide

Led by Catherine Jullian

I attended Catherine Jullian’s workshop on genocide, a topic obviously of relevance to our UU principles. There were only 4 of us, and we had lengthy technical challenges at the start, so it lasted only about an hour. We ended up spending almost all the time on the Palestinian case. There we had widely differing opinions: two felt that was a clear case of genocide, and two were less sure. Much of the reason seemed to be concentrated on our sources, and so we exchanged information on them to ensure that we heard views from alternative experts. Catherine also referred to the “takeover” of the West Bank and argued that Iraq was another case of genocide. She mentioned “cultural genocide”, a concept I was unaware of. I have since learned that it is separate and distinct from genocide and not used in the United Nations’ Genocide Convention. Clearly we only brushed the surface of this controversial but crucial ethical and practical topic.

Peter Jarrett